You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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