So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
