I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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