I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
