I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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