Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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