Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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