Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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