I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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