Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize