I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
