definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
