so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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