I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize