she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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