What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
