When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
