I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
