My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
