i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
