Its about making memories worth repressing
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
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Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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