He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
