with your own penis?
I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
