literally had 100 drinks last night.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
