he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize