my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
