He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
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He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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