Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
