She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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