He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
