hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
