Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
