We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
