so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i now understand why vodka
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
