Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize