I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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