Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
