I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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