dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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