so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
