i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
