Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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