walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
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