Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
