I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You ate ashes out of my bong
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
