Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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