New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
