I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
