why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
