We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
