i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
