i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
