im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
