Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
