I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
