Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
