That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
