paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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