OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
