I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
