Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize