so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
