i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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