Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Congratulations! We have a period
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