Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
