From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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