he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize