her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
